Forbidden Feelings
by Selvanic
Summary: Ed faces a dilema when his feelings conflict with his logic. EdxEnvy
1. Prologue

_My first attempt at writing anything here. It's just something I started a few days ago when I was sitting up late at night and listening to some Corrs music. I got randomly inspired, and, because I keep a notebook close to my bed, wrote some stuff down. I guess this could be a starting...I don't know. But I'm really just posting to see if anyone even likes it. That way I know whether it's worth continuing or not..._

_It's kind of Ed's POV...and no...I don't own either of them. The characters are property of Arakawa-sensei. Enjoy..._

I could feel his long fingers entwine their way into my hair. I refused to accept that the low moan of pleasure that broke the evening's silence came from my own kiss swollen lips. His free hand cupped my face, turning it towards him. The moonlight shone beautifully on his androgynous face. I didn't want to think about it; about what was going on between us every evening.

I loved every touch, every kiss, every time we made love. But I hated myself. I hated that I'd let him get so close, that I allowed him to return night after night. I was disgusted with myself that my body reacted so pleasurably every time his slender fingers caressed me. And yet I gave no protest, made no effort to stop him.

Still, when we lay together in the last hours of the evening, his breathing slowed with sleep, I catch myself crying. Not tears of sorrow, but tears of shame. Why did I allow him back each night? Why did I keep this secret, even from my brother? I refused to think that I'd fallen in love with the creature, regardless of how many times he insisted he felt that way about me. No alchemist could ever fall for the monstrosity created by alchemy's greatest taboo. The thought was absurd.

Especially after what he'd done to me.

He was less demanding this time, apparently content with simply stealing a kiss every now and then. He snuggled in against me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, something he often did before dozing off. I knew he'd be gone by morning. He had to be. We couldn't be caught together. Too much was at stake for both of us. So he enjoyed what time he could. Or so he told me.

I could hear his breathing become more uniform. He was falling asleep. As he often did, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in against him. Instinctively, I rested my head against his bare chest.

And then he whispered those words; the ones that evoked feelings I refused to acknowledge.

"I love you Ed."

But this time, instead of remaining silent, I uttered a response without thinking; a response that would potentially ruing my life.

"I love you too Envy."

To be continued?


	2. Return

_And here it is – by popular demand – the first actual chapter in this story. I'm so happy to say that so many people were kind enough to review positively, hence inspiring me on. I hope you enjoy this installment. _

_It IS still Ed's POV._

Over the next three days, he didn't return. I found myself distracted by his absence. Often, I caught myself staring out the window, unknowingly searching for the homunculus.

My sudden obsession did not go unnoticed, however. I was called several times to speak with the damned colonel about my lack in work ethic. He questioned me relentlessly, demanding answers. I gave none. I didn't even bother to lie. I simply sat and stared in silence. I think he finally gave up on me, as the calls ceased to come in.

My brother, on the other hand, would not be deterred so easily. His questions were softer, more concerned than demanding. He pressed me gently with questions like, "Is something bothering you nii-san?" and, "Do you need to talk?" But I even refused him answers. I'd force smiles and mutter false assurances. I didn't need him worrying.

Besides, how could I explain anything to him when I didn't even know what was going on? I wasn't even sure why I desired nothing more than to see the homunculus' face. I just knew I did.

It was on the fourth night of Envy's sudden disappearance, after I'd seen Al to his room, that I heard the all too familiar sound of my window being opened. I'd been in bed as I'd given up looking for him. But he'd returned. I heard his feet softly padding across the room as he made his way over to my bed.

I didn't roll overt to see him. I didn't have to to know he wore that all too superior smile at knowing what he did to me. Perhaps his face wasn't what I wanted to see after all.

My body tensed as I felt his weight on the bed. I could feel him moving closer, leaning over my prone form. His breath feathered against my ear and I felt the heat rise in my face.

"Did you miss me?" he whispered, lips teasing my reddened ear.

I didn't' want to answer, not after what I'd said last time. So I simply laid there, refusing to move.

One of his hands made its way into my hair, freeing it of its braid. My heart rate and blush increased significantly as he tugged lightly at my hair. He obviously knew how sensitive it was.

He kissed my face adoringly, muttering softly. "You seem less receptive tonight, Ed. Is something wrong?"

I shook my head. I didn't need him knowing how upset I'd been with his absence.

Suddenly, his kisses stopped and he pulled away from me. I heard him behind me, no doubt sitting on my bed looking dejected.

"You're lying to me," he said flatly, "Why?"

Mumbling under my breath, I risked saying something, hoping I had more sense than before. "I'm not lying. I'm just…tired."

"This is because I took off without telling you, isn't it?" he pressed, obviously ignoring me.

I sighed and continued to stare at the wall. He was right to some extent. I was afraid of what he'd done in his absence. At least if he was with me, I knew he wasn't out killing people. And yet, that didn't seem to be the main source of my pain. It was almost like I felt more betrayed than anything.

"Why won't you say anything?" he demanded, cutting into my thoughts.

I sat up and faced him. He looked hurt, something I'd never seen before. But I couldn't tell him. I couldn't let him know how I felt. After all, I wasn't even entirely clear on how I felt, and simply saying something for his sake would make thing worse.

I reached out for him with my right hand, momentarily forgetting about my automail. However, upon seeing the moonlight glint off of the metal limb, I pulled back. Cold metal on skin was never comforting.

And yet, he grabbed my retreating hand and rested his face against it, his violet eyes sliding shut and a faint smile upon his lips. I couldn't help but stare. No one had ever been so willing to accept my automail aside from Winry and Al. Yet there he was, holding my metal hand to his face as if it were real.

We stayed like that, in silence, for an odd amount of time before I felt the need to speak.

"Envy, I…"

He cut me off smoothly, placing two fingers softly against my lips. "I understand Ed," he smiled, "And that's fine."

I couldn't be entirely sure of what he meant, but smiled in spite of it. Carefully, I moved closer to him and kissed him shyly. That proved to be all the inspiriting he needed.

We made love that night like any night before, but something felt different. Something about this time felt right, and I never wanted it to end. Unfortunately, it had to, as my energy had been spent thinking and worrying all day.

He curled up against me, much like a sleepy cat, and gradually fell asleep. However, as tired as I was, I remained awake and fondled with some of Envy's emerald-black hair. Was I really in love? I didn't want to think about it.

_To be continued…._


	3. Dilema

_Yes, here's the next installment. I actually have the ENTIRE rough copy finished. It's simply a matter of typing and posting the stupid thing. So…yeah. Enjoy part three (technically Chapter 2) and I'll hopefully get the rest up soon._

_Still Ed's POV _

I woke to the soft knocking of my brother outside my door. Still sleepy, I pulled myself out of bed, found my discarded clothes, pulled them on, and opened my bedroom door.

If Al could have smiled, I'm sure he would have. I heard him chuckle at my rather unflattering morning appearance.

"Rough night, nii-san?" he teased good naturedly.

I shrugged and smiled. "I've had worse."

Suddenly, something seemed to catch my brother's attention. He was significantly taller than me – although it pains me to admit it – so it was no doubt the slobbish condition of my room. Or so I told myself.

"Sorry about the mess Al," I apologized, convinced that was the reason for his stunned silence. "I haven't had time to clean up yet."

Al shook his head slowly, the metal of his body making a faint grinding noise at the movement.

I frowned. "What's wrong Al?" I asked, finally turning to see what the problem was. "It's not that bad is…" I broke off as my eyes fell upon what Al was no doubt shocked to find.

Envy was still fast asleep in my bed, his flamboyant hair pooled out on my pillow, the covers falling haphazardly about his bare waist.

I felt the blood rush to my face and I spun around quickly to once again face my brother. I tried desperately to gather my thoughts, to formulate something to say.

Al simply stood there, moving his gaze from me to the sleeping Envy. If he hadn't been that suit of armor, I'm sure his jaw would've been dropped, his eyes widened, and his face paled.

"I…it's not what you think," I stammered pathetically, "He…I…we…argh!"

Covering my face with my hands, I tried to think of something – anything – to stop this train wreck from getting worse. I couldn't shoo Al away and hope he dismissed it as a bad dream, and lying was definitely out of the question. Sighing resignedly, I looked at Al. There was only one thing to do that wouldn't haunt my conscience forever.

I took several steps back, just enough to free up the doorway. Starting solemnly at my brother, I said, "Al, if you come in, I'll explain everything as best I can. If you think you'd rather not know, you can walk away. But if you walk away, I have to trust that you aren't going to tell anyone what you've seen."

Al seemed hesitant, but finally shuffled quietly into the room. Once again, his gaze darted from me to Envy.

I motioned for him to sit down in my desk chair, and he gratefully took the opportunity to momentarily think about something else.

As my brother cleared my various papers off of the chair, I wandered over to the bed. Why was Envy still here? He knew as well as I did that we had to keep our night visits a secret. Just as much was at risk for him as it was for me. But I didn't have time for that just yet.

Sitting on the bed, I pulled the covers up to better conceal the homunculus. I then turned my eyes to Al who was sitting shyly at my desk.

"Look, Al," I started awkwardly, "The first thing you have to understand is that I'm not even entirely sure as to what's going on. This…" I motioned to Envy. "…kind of just happened. Well, not 'just' as in just recently; 'just' as in out of nowhere."

I paused to make sure Al understood. He obviously realized this as he nodded quietly.

Biting my lower lip, I debated where to start; how much to disclose. I frowned slightly before continuing. "I guess the sum of the whole story is that Envy showed up and, instead of trying to kill me, he started talking. Just out of the blue. Woke me up and everything. I admit I was suspicious, but he'd really just come to get a bunch of stuff off his chest. He told me that I was the only one he felt he had left, even if I did hate him. And it went on like that for the next three or four nights."

I cast a glance over my shoulder at the subject of our conversation. Something about his breathing seemed odd.

Regardless, I pressed on, knowing that Al deserved to know. "It was on his fourth or fifth visit when I asked him if there was even anything left to talk about. I'd only asked because he seemed different than the other times; less distracted. He told me he'd realized something and that I'd be seeing a lot more of him. I took it as a threat and went on the offensive before he could try anything. Bu I'd been expecting an attack on my life. What he did though…well…" I could feel the blush staining my cheeks and I found it difficult to carry on.

"I kissed him," Envy's voice finished from behind me. "And explained that I'd fallen in love with him."

My body tensed and I turned around to face him. He smiled at my obviously shocked expression. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to demand why he was still here. And yet, at the same time, I wanted to thank him for finishing what I knew I couldn't.

Al stared at us both in silence for a moment before whispering, "So, you two have been seeing each other every night since?"

I nodded and I could feel Envy's hair brush along my back as he did the same.

"But nii-san," Al continued, "You never said if you were in love with Envy."

Memories of what I'd said came flooding into my mind. I'd spoken those words, hadn't I? I'd told him I loved him. But did I mean it or was it simply said for the moment? I'd never spoken those words to anyone before, and to think that Envy was the one who inspired them…it was too confusing.

I got up and shuffled over to my door. Pulling it open, I looked at my brother and said softly, "Al, you should go. I'm sure someone's wondering where the Elric brothers are by now."

Al seemed shocked. "But…" he started. However, he realized that I was pained and simply cast one final glance at the homunculus before quietly taking his leave.

As I closed the door, I heard the sound of Envy shape shifting, no doubt doing so to regain his clothes. I couldn't face him. I was sure my indecision over my brother's question had hurt him.

"Why are you still here?" I asked without turning around. "You're putting us both at risk."

"I slept in," he answered offhandedly.

I cursed him under my breath; cursed myself for not checking before opening the door. Snarling through my teeth, I retorted, "That's a load of crap. You've never 'slept in' before because you're smarter than that. And I doubt your little vacation numbed your brain that much. So what are you trying to do? Why did you stay?"

I heard him come up behind me, felt him wrap his arms around me. Yet I continued to refuse to look at him.

"You seemed different last night," he whispered into my ear, "I was worried."

Snorting derisively, I shot back, "Like hell you were…"

He sighed heavily, slowly slipping away from me. I kept my eyes fixed on the door.

"Fine," he muttered, "I'm going." And with that, I heard him leave.

My body trembled, releasing tension I didn't know I was holding back. But something wasn't right. I didn't feel relief at knowing he was gone. I felt something else, something unfamiliar, like a sinking in my chest.

Sliding to the floor, I curled up against myself and began to cry. I didn't know why. I just did.


	4. Advice

_Ok, before I start the next chapter, I'd like to thank _Godell _and _Black Haiyate _for being so loyal to my story. I'm sure that there are others of you who have read my story from day one, but these two have stuck with me and have been kind enough to comment on every chapter. I thank you both greatly._

_Now, to continue with why you all actually read this…Chapter 3 here is going to be in Envy's POV this time, and anything italic like this means it's a flash back. I don't like commenting in the middle of my own story. _

_Enjoy…_

Ed confused the hell out of me. There was no point lying about it. One moment he was begging for my touch, and the next, he wouldn't even look at me. It was frustrating to say the least.

I stormed down the streets of Central, in a much worse mood than when I usually left chibi-chan's company. I hadn't even bothered to change forms. People stared at me as I passed, no doubt wondering what kind of nutcase I was, walking around without shoes and dressed the way I was. The hell I cared.

I had to talk to Lust. Her previous advice had blown up in my face, but she was the only other homunculus who understood.

The more I thought about her 'advice', the angrier I got with myself. I'd been so confused that I'd gone to her. The rather pathetic conversation came back with haunting accuracy.

"_Lust, have you got a minute?"_

"_Depends. What are you going to do with it?" Taunting smile upon her gorgeous lips. _

"_Nothing you won't be able to use against me later." Offhanded shrug, nonchalant tone._

_Raised eyebrow, curious stare. "Is that so? The mighty Envy needs my help?"_

_Slight frown. "You could put it that way."_

_Light chuckle. "Alright, let's hear it."_

_Deep breath, averted eyes. I can't look at her. "It's…Ed."_

"_Ed?" Peaked interest, slight worried tone to her soft voice._

"_Yeah. He said he loved me." Dignity has been thrown out the window._

_Silence._

_Getting flustered, turn to her. "Aw, come on! Don't freeze up on me now!"_

"_How do you feel?" Her voice is soft, tentative._

_Furrowed brow in confusion. "What?"_

_Violet eyed stare, oddly intense. "Have you ever said that to him, or did he do it first?"_

_Unwanted blush. "Uh…" Fidget and look away. "I said it first."_

"_Did you mean it?" Confidence returning._

_Silence._

"_Did you mean it?" More force this time. She wants an answer._

_Mutter awkwardly. "Yes…"_

_Heavy sigh. "Then what's the problem?"_

"_He's never said it before."_

"_Before?"_

_Silent nod._

_Intensified curiosity. "How long have you been seeing each other?"_

_Slight shake of the head. "About a month and a half." _

"_When did you tell him?" Seems genuinely interested. _

_I frown. "I don't know. Five days after we started seeing each other, I think." _

_Contemplative silence. "And he just told you now?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_How often do you see each other?"_

_Growing more comfortable. "Just about every night."_

_Silent nod. "Have you had sex?"_

_Faint blush. "Yeah."_

"_How often?"_

"_Dose it matter?!"_

_Taunting smile has returned. "Just wondering."_

"_Can we get on with this?" Impatient frown._

_Soft laugh. "Of course. What do you need exactly?"_

"_What do I do? What do I say? How do I know if he meant it?"_

"_Give him some space for a while." Her smile is softer, more caring. Weird. "A couple of days or so. If it took him that long to say it, he's probably as flustered as you are. He needs time to think."_

"_Then what?"_

_Shrug. "You go back to him. Go back and show him you care. Make love to him gently; adore him. Just…be with him."_

_Still confused. "But I only have the night."_

"_Stay until morning." Another soft shrug. "Show him you love him enough to risk yourself. Let him know you were worried about him."_

_Slow nod. "I suppose. But I still don't get how I'll know if he meant it or not."_

_Reassuring smile. "You'll know."_

"Like hell I knew," I muttered angrily. "He couldn't even tell his own brother if he did or not!!"

My angered footsteps had carried me quickly to the derelict building in which we homunculi were staying. As I approached, I head the hurried footsteps of the smallest homunculus.

Wrath came running out, his long black hair sullied with dust. His large violet eyes were widened in fear or worry. I never could tell the difference.

"Mommy's gone!" he all but shrieked, throwing his arms around my waist. "I can't find her anywhere this morning!!"

I stared tiredly at him. He was truly distraught, and, judging by all the dust that clung to him, he'd looked everywhere.

Sighing heavily, I pulled him off of me and stared him in the eyes. "Wrath," I said calmly, "Do you know what day it is?"

The young homunculus wiped the tears he's shed away. "It isn't 'get-your-filthy-hands-off-Envy day' again is it?"

I couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't even a humorous notion. I'd told him that once when I'd been in a foul mood, and every time he'd touched me, I'd hit him. I suppose the fact that he even remembered it – it had been quite a while since we'd brought it up – was what I found so entertaining.

"No," I told him, smiling, "And it won't be again for a while. Now try again."

His adorable little face scrunched in concentration. Finally, he turned his eyes back to mine. "Is it Monday?"

"Very good," I beamed, faking my support, "And what does Sloth do on Mondays?"

A wide smile spread across his face as the idea registered. "She works as Pride's secretary at the military!"

I patted Wrath on the head. The kid wasn't stupid. He just panicked easily. And nobody thinks well while panicking.

Suddenly, Lust's silken voice demanded my attention. "I assume your new affection for Wrath means I was right?"

"Hardly," I scoffed, shooing Wrath away. "If anything, it made things worse."

She frowned thoughtfully for a moment and then smiled.

"It was a risk you chose to take," she shrugged.

I frowned and walked angrily up to her. She was slightly taller than me, so I quickly altered my form. At least now I could face her eye-to-eye.

Her gorgeous taunting smile widened at the notion. "You should really do that _before_ you approach someone," she teased.

My frown deepened. "My timing isn't the problem right now," I hissed, "Ed is."

Lust rolled her eyes and kissed me lightly. "If you cock the same attitude with him that you do with me, I know what the problem is," she smiled; lips still dangerously close to mine.

I smiled back, but made sure mine was laced with vicious sarcasm. "Sorry," I whispered, "Ed gets slightly better treatment."

She took a half step back and shook her head. "If you're so upset about my advice not working, why are you asking for more?"

I ran my hand absently through my hair. "Because I think the majority of it worked…well…as far as I can tell at least."

Suddenly, I wasn't so sure. When I'd first arrived last night, he seemed upset that I'd stood him up for three nights without a reason. It was almost like he didn't want me there. But then we'd shared that moment; his hand held tenderly to my face. It was in that moment that Ed had gone to say something and I'd cut him off. I _thought_ I knew what he was going to say. After that, he kissed me of his own free will and we had sex. I did as Lust had advised and was significantly gentler with him. And the result was amazing. Ed had been more receptive, had even pleaded for more. It was the first time he'd done that. But then, because I'd stayed, he'd been forced to explain things to his younger brother (not that I was entirely opposed to the idea; he shouldn't keep secrets from someone he cares so much about…). And that pissed him off. So really, it was a fifty-fifty success rate.

Shaking my head, I tried again. "Ok, so about half of your advice worked. It's still better than my record. And besides, you're the only other homunculus who can comprehend what I'm going through."

She raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Just what do you mean by that?" she asked.

"You're more human than the others," I answered, "And I'm pretty sure this is a _very_ human crisis."

Lust laughed softly and smiled. "I wouldn't call it a crisis."

"I don't care what you call it. The fact is, I need help." I'd crossed my arms and no doubt looked like a stubborn child.

Taking my hand and leading me over to a bench, Lust sat down with me.

"Envy," she started, "For me to help you, I have to know what worked and what didn't."

And so I began the rather intricate task of recounting the previous evening's happenings in as much detail as I could. She listened quietly to my every word, nodding every now and then to show she understood.

Finally, as I concluded with my rather indignant return 'home', she smiled broadly, as if she had all the answers.

"So?" I asked, "What do you think?"

Lust flipped some of her thick, black hair over her bare shoulder and replied, "I think you did fine. The only reason Ed was upset in the morning is because he had to face his brother. If it had just been the two of you, I'm sure it would have gone better."

I nodded thoughtfully, but she continued before I could get a word in.

"Also, the fact that you played dumb couldn't have helped at all," Lust pressed on with an offhanded shrug, "You really should have just told him you were concerned right off the bat. The way you went about it made your 'concern' look like a quick cover up for your own stupidity."

I frowned. So now I'd done badly.

She ignored my obvious malcontent and continued on. "I think your best move at this point in time is to get him alone sometime before tonight and talk. Let him know you were being an idiot and that you really were concerned." She smiled again. "If I know the Fullmetal Alchemist, he was just a little uncertain about discussing his feelings with both you and Al present. He should have cleared his thoughts by this afternoon.

Despite my lingering malice, I laughed. For the most 'serious' homunculus, I found her oddly amusing.

"I'm so glad I have a relationship guru like you so readily available," I chuckled.

Lust smacked me in the back of the head, but her smile remained. She then gracefully rose from the bench and began walking back to our temporary residence.

"Come on," she called without looking back, "There _are_ things we need to accomplish today."

To be continued….


	5. Suspicion

_Ok, here's Chapter 5. Given, it's shorter than the others, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Also, there's going to be a random jump in POV after the first few paragraphs. It kicks off in Envy's POV (I probably should have added this part to Chapter 4, but I just noticed it now) and then flips to Ed once again. Hopefully, I think of some way to show the change….; Enjoy! _

It was later that afternoon, as I was standing outside Central's military headquarters in the guise of an awed tourist, that I spotted Ed. My excellent eyesight allowed me to pick him out amongst the many others traversing the long corridors. Well, that and the fact that he was the only one not in uniform. That large red coat was hard to miss amidst the sea of blue military garb.

Quickly making sure no one was watching me, I altered my form to blend with the soldiers moving in and out of headquarters. It wasn't hard. I'd done it countless times before.

Now the only think left to do, was to get Ed on his own.

_(Ed's POV (it was the only thing I could think of…))_

I'd been forced to collect myself over this morning's fiasco as Hawkeye had come to 'wake' me not more than five minutes after Envy's departure. I'd heard the fall of her boots as she'd made her way down the hall. However, I hadn't expected it to be her when I opened the door. It was unlike the colonel to send someone as important as Hawkeye to retrieve me.

When I'd opened the door, she clearly noticed I'd been crying, but chose not to say anything. I was grateful for that. I hadn't cried since my career with the military began. But for some reason I couldn't fathom, the morning's disaster with Envy had broken me down.

However, Hawkeye cut right to the chase, in spite of her obvious respect for my emotions. "The colonel would like to see you," she reported formally, hand raised in a salute. "And the sooner the better."

I cursed under my breath. Had Al told Roy or had that damned colonel weaseled it out of him? No doubt Al had looked 'out of it' after our discussion, and no doubt Roy had noticed. So now what? If Roy really _did_ know about my 'relationship', what the hell was I supposed to do? He'd probably charge me with treason, using 'sleeping with the enemy' as his reasoning.

Sighing heavily, I resigned to go with her to the bastard's office. There was not much else for me to do, not know that she knew I was here. Several people cast fleeting glances in my direction. As I said before, it was odd for Roy to send someone like Hawkeye to do something so trivial. They probably thought I'd gotten myself in trouble. At least we were all on the same page…

Hawkeye stopped outside of Roy's office door and motioned for me to enter. I walked in reluctantly, but was pleasantly surprised to find no one there.

Poking my head back out, I asked Hawkeye, "Did Roy go somewhere?"

She seemed shocked at my question and I moved aside to let her in. She briskly made her way to his desk, looked it over, found something, and picked up the small piece of paper. Her eyes scanned it over a couple times and she sighed softly.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, facing me with a faintly embarrassed smile, "It seems the colonel received some urgent orders while I was retrieving you. He says he'll see you as soon as he returns."

I shrugged and internally heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe today could still be a good day after all.

Smiling reassuringly at her, I said, "Don't sweat it. I don't plan on going anywhere today. Just come find me if Roy ever decides to come back." I then gave an offhanded wave and made my way out of the office toward the military cafeteria. I hadn't eaten yet and couldn't ignore my stomach any longer.

By the afternoon, I'd finished up all the paperwork that had been forced on me, and I'd eaten enough to stave off hunger for at least a couple of hours. I was just heading back to my room when Hawkeye caught up with me. It was just about two o'clock.

Smiling apologetically, she said, "It seems the colonel's returned earlier than expected. If you'd just come with me…"

I nodded compliantly. What did I have to lose? Maybe Roy had forgotten what he wanted to bitch me out for.

_To be continued…_


	6. Confession

_Ah, the second to last chapter. We're almost done everyone!! YAY!!! Once again, we're switching back to Envy's POV. Hope you all enjoy it!!_

Finding the perfect disguise had proved to be almost too easy. As I'd wandered the halls of Central Headquarters, a couple of nimrod lieutenants were discussing something that caught my interest.

"Did you hear?" the first one muttered – secrecy was obviously not his strong point - , "Colonel Mustang was called to the Eastern Headquarters."

The second one seemed confused. "What? But why? I thought he had enough to do here."

"I don't know what they do in those ranks," the first one snorted, "All I know is that that Fullmetal kid got off easy."

"Right! The colonel wanted to see him earlier, didn't he?"

My interest was officially peaked and I'd stopped walking. So, Mustang wanted to see Ed, huh? And was gone too. How much easier could this get?

Tuning out the rest of their less than intelligent conversation, I sought out a place to alter forms appropriately. I'd infiltrated Central enough times to know where the colonel's office was. It was simply becoming said colonel without being noticed that would prove tricky.

In the end, I didn't have to kill anyone for seeing me, and I reached 'my' office without question. I then called for Hawkeye and had her go get Ed. She seemed happy to see me, but her professional attitude kept her from expressing it too openly. I'm sure that, had reading people not come so easily to me, I'd never have noticed.

So there I sat, awaiting the arrival of my beloved chibi. I suppose it would have been a good idea to formulate just what it was that I wanted to say, but I kicked back instead. Might as well relax while I could. However, Hawkeye was fairly efficient and I really only got fifteen minutes to myself.

She saw Ed in and formally excused herself. Ed eyed me suspiciously, his large golden eyes holding suppressed disgust. He really did hate Mustang. And he really didn't try very hard to hide it either. His contempt made itself quite clear on his young face.

"Take a seat," I said, momentarily startled at the sound of Mustang's voice passing through my lips.

Ed did so, but looked no more comfortable in my presence. "What do you want?" he demanded frostily.

I flinched. Even though I knew the venomous tone was intended for Mustang, it had still been directed at me. It hurt to have Ed talk to me like that.

Obviously, my flinch hadn't gone unnoticed. Ed narrowed his eyes, probably confused at why his 'colonel' would be so hurt by the callous remark.

I brushed it off and tried to ignore Ed's scrutinizing stare. I wouldn't reveal myself; not yet.

"I'm concerned about you Edward," I said quite honestly, "There's obviously something bothering you."

Ed snorted derisively. "We've been over this before," he scoffed, "And this new 'concerned' angle isn't going to change what I've already told you."

Well that was an interesting rebuttal. So, Roy had been pestering my lovely chibi. No doubt that had something to do with Ed's foul mood. Just how much more could I find out?

"That's not what I meant, Edward," I pressed on, "I realize you don't want to talk about that. But you seem edgier than usual; more temperamental. Why?"

Rolling his eyes, Ed rose from the chair. Glaring down at me, he snarled, "Rewording the question won't change anything either. So, if that's all you want, I've got other things to do." With that, Ed turned and moved towards the door.

"Wait!" I called after him, a little more frantically than I should have. I rose from Mustang's desk and moved to stand in front of it; behind Ed. "What can I do?"

"What?" Ed turned around reluctantly, his brow furrowed in a mixture of confusion and suspicion. Obviously, I'd stopped acting very colonel-ish.

My mind raced. Did I reveal myself or continue this pathetic farce? I'd already made Ed suspicious of Roy twice now. What did I have to lose?

Taking a deep breath, I first altered my voice back to normal. "What can I do to make you love me?" I whispered, much more comfortable with my own voice than Mustang's.

Ed clearly wasn't. "Envy?!" he hissed, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

I shifted back to my preferred appearance and met Ed's angered stare with my own pleading one. "I was worried, Ed. And I'm sorry."

"Sorry?!" Ed snapped, careful not to get too loud. "How is coming back and jeopardizing everything 'sorry'?!"

I cringed at his anger, but continued as best I could. "Ed, look. I know what I did this morning was more than a little stupid, and that what I'm doing now isn't much better. But I need you to understand. I love you Ed, and the way you acted last night – and this morning – worried me. I just…I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

When Ed's callous stare remained, I felt my heart sink and I had to look away. I'd seriously screwed up, and it didn't look like anything I did would fix it. Lust was going to pay for this.

Disheartened, I turned away and fixed my eyes on the window. "I'll just…go," I muttered, hating how pathetic I sounded.

However, as I made a move toward my escape route, I felt Ed's left hand entwine with my right. His fingers tightened on mine, and he gave a gentle tug. I turned away and found Ed starring at the floor.

"Ed," I whispered, "What are you…"

"Don't leave," he answered hastily, cutting me off. "I…I didn't mean to hurt you. Not now, and not this morning. I'm the one who should be sorry."

To say I was stunned – caught off guard – would have been an understatement. I didn't know what to do, what to say. I just stood there.

Finally, my thoughts and voice seemed to find each other. I had to know. "Ed…do you…"

Once again, the object of my affection cut me off. "Yes, Envy," he nodded, meeting my eyes with his own, "I love you. With everything I am, I love you."

I felt a tightening in my throat and gut, and words ceased to formulate. We stood, silently staring at one another, in Mustang's office.

_To be continued…_


	7. Together

_Yes, the final chapter! At last! How long has this taken? Longer than it should have, that's how long. Jeez. Anyway, this IS the conclusion. Given, I could very well go on with it, if I should get anymore ideas, but I doubt it. I'm brain dead lately. _

_Right then. Just as a final thank you, I'd like to give a lovely shout out to all my dear readers. Thank you all of you; for the reviews, for reading it, for putting up with how slow I am. It really means a lot to me. My stories have never been so loved. Many hugs to all of you (especially Black Haiyate and Godell. You've been there the WHOLE time. Thank you both so much!) _

_Well, that's enough blabber. I'm sure you all want to know how I ended this. Enjoy the final chapter of _Forbidden Feelings_. Once again, we've bounced back to Ed's POV._

I'd finally said it. Not just for him, but for myself as well. At last, I'd broken the pitiful bonds of my pride and admitted that I was in love. I no longer cared what others thought. What mattered was what I thought, what I felt. And there, with him risking everything just to see me, I realized it.

Throwing my arms around him, I kissed Envy without reserve. I allowed all the passion and desire I'd hidden away to flow out of me in that kiss. I heard him groan and felt him wrap his arms around my waist. I kissed his face, his throat, his shoulder. I reveled in the feeling of simply being with him, of being held by him. Yes, I loved him.

"Ed," he panted softly in my ear, "God, I love you so much." I felt his lips on my ear and I sighed resignedly. Envy had become my world.

I captured his lips with my own again, adoring the feelings that accompanied every kiss. I never wanted it to end. And yet, it did.

Envy suddenly broke away, gently freeing himself from my embrace. "They're coming," he whispered, gesturing to the door. He then cupped my face with his left hand and kissed me softly. "I'll see you tonight." And with that, he was gone; escaped through the window.

Not more than thirty seconds later, Hawkeye and Havoc kicked the door in, guns drawn. I barely noticed. My eyes were fixed on the window, my mind on Envy. However, when Hawkeye addressed me, I was forced back to reality.

"Are you alright Ed?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

"Why?" I inquired, feigning ignorance.

Havoc tucked his gun away and replied, "Because we just spoke to the colonel. He's not due back for another week."

"Therefore," Hawkeye continued, "We figured the one in here with you must have been that shape-shifting homunculus." She too put her gun away. "So, are you alright?'

I smiled faintly and nodded. "Yeah," I told her confidently, "I'm ok. Actually, I've never felt better." I then excused myself and wandered off to my room. Tonight couldn't come fast enough.

_End_


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